Think about somebody you love dearly.
It might be your partner, one of your children, a sibling, or a close friend.
How do you show up in that relationship?
I bet you…
- Speak kindly to them
- Are supportive
- Keep your commitments
- Honour your word
- Treat them well
- Are seen as trustworthy and reliable in their eyes
Now think about your relationship with yourself.
Do you show up the same way for you?
The weight loss journey is like a mirror—it reflects your relationship with yourself.
It offers an opportunity to understand it more deeply and strengthen it in ways that extend far beyond the realm of food.
The Trust Gap
Most of us would describe ourselves as trustworthy.
We keep our promises to others, often without hesitation.
Sometimes even to people we don’t know well.
But when it comes to keeping promises to ourselves? That’s often where things get challenging.
A common example is food planning.
How many times have you decided in advance what you’d eat—only to abandon the plan at the first sign of inconvenience or hunger?
You meant to eat in a way that supported your goals.
But then you didn’t. Maybe the plan was unrealistic. Maybe your day didn’t go as expected. Maybe you just didn’t feel like it.
Inside my private coaching program, one of the most important skills we focus on is learning how to plan and make food decisions ahead of time.
But this isn’t about testing your discipline with food.
The real purpose?
To build self-trust.
To practice following through.
To know that when you make a plan, you set yourself up for success by taking care of yourself in the process.
Trusting Yourself: Past, Present, and Future
Making a food plan ahead of time is actually a conversation between your past, present, and future selves.
Did the version of you who made the plan take care of the version of you living it out today?
Was it realistic? Enjoyable? Sustainable?
To build trust and confidence, you should only plan what you’re truly willing to follow through on.
In other words…
The version of you who creates the plan needs to take care of the version of you who will execute it.
And the version of you who’s executing needs to feel cared for by the version who made the plan.
Are You Trustworthy?
Another part of this relationship is how you think about—and speak to—yourself.
If you’re not sure what you really think about yourself, try one of the following:
- Get out of the shower and look in the mirror.
What thoughts come up about your body? - Step on the scale.
What do you make that number mean about you?
Don’t judge the answers—just observe them.
If those thoughts are critical or harsh, ask:
How can I speak more kindly to myself?
You might try:
“This is my body right now, and I’m going to take the best care of it—including speaking kindly about it.”
If that feels hard, imagine your daughter or best friend saying something cruel about her own body.
What would you say to her?
Say that to yourself.
Don’t Wait to Be Kind
You don’t have to wait until you’ve lost weight to start treating yourself with respect.
Improving your relationship with yourself now makes weight loss both easier and more enjoyable.
Because who wants to be in a relationship with someone who constantly criticizes, pressures, or dismisses them?
Dress Like You Matter
Another example? Clothing.
Don’t wait until you’ve lost weight to dress in a way that makes you feel beautiful.
I’m not saying wear clothes that don’t fit.
I’m saying: wear something that makes you feel confident, comfortable, and more like yourself.
Embody the energy of someone who cares about herself—now.
Not after she’s lost the weight.
Final Thought
We often focus on improving our relationships with others.
But what about the one you have to live with, 24/7?
Start there.
Interested in private coaching? Check out my 3-month private coaching program to get started.
Download a copy of my Elegant Eating Handbook to learn simple and effective strategies for permanently living at your natural weight.
Hi! I’m Elaine, a Certified Nutritionist and Master Certified Health Coach. I support women in achieving their health and body goals while prioritizing a peaceful and balanced relationship with food.
Get a free copy of my handbook!
The Elegant Eating Handbook: Timeless Strategies for Lasting Weight Loss and a Peaceful Relationship with Food.
